Today I learned about the Waffle House Index

America is a magical place where you can buy a beer at 7-11 and taking an ambulance is a luxury expense, but it’s also a place which apparently uses the popular breakfast chain, Waffle House, to gauge exactly how messed up things are at any given time.

This is buck wild of course but it’s also true. I wish I had the kind of brain which could come up with this kind of thing.

The waffle house index is basically a measure of how which Waffle House locations are open. There’s a map which shows you which are open, which have limited menus due to shortages or lack of amenities, and which are closed.

This metric has literally been used by FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Agency) because apparently Waffle House is normally so good at emergency preparedness, and so quick to reopen, you can basically tell if an area needs more help based on whether or not the Waffle House is open.

Right now 365 Waffle Houses are closed due to COVID-19, which represents a pretty bad state of affairs. We shall see how quick they are to get back online soon.

Never change america.